Friday, December 18, 2009

Goodbye morning shift...

One thing I'm not going to miss is curly-haired computer lab assistance desk guy regaling his completely disinterested co-workers with his various exercise routines and eating practices. Seriously for like twenty minutes all I heard was,

"Yeah, I like eat so much over the weekend that I gain 5 pounds every weekend and then I lose it all over the next week. I don't even have to worry about like buying food during the week because my dad teaches on campus so I just stop by his office and my mom usually sends something for me with him..."

"Yeah so I don't know what I'm gonna do man it looks like my exercise bike is on the fritz so I'm gonna have to call the manufacturer or something."

I should feel sorry for whoever has to work for him, but since his not-so-delicate voice wafts its way over to me as well I, instead, choose to feel sorry for myself.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


I just want to take a moment to remember the LRC as it is now and as it always should be. The funeral service was beautiful, and there were some really great tributes.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

LRC Confession

Sometimes when people are bratty and demanding of me I get really happy that they forgot their cards because then I can say, "Oh, Sorry! We have to have your card. It's the library's new policy." which of course I'm not lying about but for those of you who know me I'm usually willing to work something out with the patrons....but obviously not if they're bratty and/or demanding.

Friday, November 6, 2009

weekend rotate

So I'm here....working....while my boyfriend and his friend's celebrate his birthday. Some of you guys stink...REAL BAD!


Friday, October 16, 2009

fire in the HBLL or incompetant security guards?

Hmmmmm.....dust in old alarms?

Interesting theory- I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I've been wearing the same brown sweater all week (well, it is only Wednesday). So what if I think it adds to my library mystique.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


Friday, September 18, 2009


today, i saw graham's parisian twin.
no lie.

Friday, September 11, 2009


I just had such a delightful experience which I feel has to be shared.

As some of you may have recently become aware, I love fake tattoos. In fact, I am sporting one right now. At this exact moment. It's a hot pink skull and cross-bones with black stars...So basically, it's classy. Oh, might I mention the placement of this sweet tat? Just below my left collar bone and to the side a little bit. In fact, I didn't even realize it was visible today. So two strapping young lads approached the counter in search of head phones. As I swiped their cards, one of them commented on my tattoo....The conversation went as follows:

Lad 1: Hey. I like your tattoo.
Me:Uh thanks....
Lad 1: Yea. What is it? Is it like a heart or a flower?
Me:Uhhh it's a skull.
Lad 2: Hey I want to see!
Me: Uh...ok...
Lad 1: Yeah! I like that!
Lad 2: Yea! That's hot!
Lad 1: That's hot!

So basically what I'm saying is, get a sweet fake tat, and you can be hot too.

Friday, August 28, 2009

the LRC kid

reasons why i love mark, the LRC kid.

1. the other day i struck up a conversation with him.
"mark, what grade are you in."
"fourth. my principal is from japanese!"

2. this.
i sneakily recorded him with my phone at closing time, so that's why the quality isn't that great.
apparently his summer hip-hop camp taught him well.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dragon Tears

I am crying Dragon Tears. Which, as we all know, turn into jelly beans.
Flight of the Conchords aside, I am still weeping Huge, Massive, Heartfelt Dragon Tears.

And, why?

Because I am leaving the LRC. Forever.

*ever... ever... ever...*

That was an echo.

Oh. And Lanee probably won't let me post anymore.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What you didn't know about the drop box monster. . .

When Cheryl and I first conceived of the monster we all know and love, he was not just as he is now. Under my superior managerial direction and Cheryl's artistic know-how (which is to say Cheryl doing everything and me watching and giving unwanted commentary) the prototype was created. The original set of teeth were deemed too scary--we didn't want patrons to fear the loss of a limb when depositing their items in the box--so we changed, but not to worry, we put the original to good use.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The LRC-Bot hadn't always felt that way. In fact he hadn't even always been able to feel. This was an entirely new thing.

He wasn't just a cold steely machine. He had felt warmth before. Maybe that was because he was a space heater.

But no, this was different. This had nothing to do with his wiring. This had nothing to do with outlets or electricity. This had nothing to do with science, but it had everything to do with her.

Her short sassy hair...her laugh...her adorable button nose. He just couldn't help himself. He went giddy every time she walked in the door. If only he had the ability to speak, he would call out to her and tell her of his love...

But alas, all the LRC-Bot can do is kneel dutifully at her feet, gazing up into her eyes and hoping that one day she will look down and see the face of love staring back up at her. He didn't mind waiting. He could wait a million years for...


...for Lanee!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Library Eccentrics

You've all seen them. You may think they're weirdos, you may find them entertaining, you may even be inspired by them. I would just like to present you all with a list of my favorite lib regulars, you have to love them.

*For the protection of those described all names will be omitted and actual identities will remain anonymous*

The LRC Kid--let's just start with our favorite shall we? You'll know him by his cartoon-glazed eyes and uncontrollable need to touch everything. Other defining characteristics include the obsessive use of library telephones.

The Potato Man--this wonderful geriatric wanders the first (or is it the second?) floor with potatoes in his pockets. No, this is not a joke. He's a regular fixture. See Melissa at reserve for more information.

The Bandage Lady--a fellow library employee, The Bandage Lady works on the fifth floor and has been wearing an inexplicable bandage on one side of her forehead for upwards of six months. Any possible explanations and theories welcome.

The Scarf Man--One of my personal favorites, Scarf Man sports long locks and a scarf wrapped constantly around his face. The jury is still out as to whether he's actually a vampire afraid of the sun or if he's attempting to avoid the swine flu. I am also of the belief that he has a sugar mama as he can frequently be found with a blond woman roughly twice his age with a thick southern accent who checks out books for him with faculty privileges.

The Library Twins--these two faithful janitors wear the same shirt every day. Every day, without fail, perfectly matching.

The Stony-faced Security Girl--I think you all know who I'm talking about. Always wearing a scowl, I have never seen her smile and have more than once awaken in the middle of the night with a cold shiver running up my spine and her face seared into my mind. Anyone who can make her smile wins all of my respect and a billion dollars.

The Library Stalker--this friendly student knows every desk clerk by name, has probably approached you entering/exiting the library, and has been accused of mildly stalking. Though I personally find him very friendly, others claim a creepier vibe from this regular.

Alberto Puertas--the infamous foe of the LRC, Puertas has been known to steal movies and other various objects and to swindle unsuspecting desk clerks into giving him excessive amounts of materials which he then never returns. Also recently quoted in the world-famous Daily Universe.

Creepy Creepy Music Man--this guy has probably made you want to sink to your knees and cower under the circulation desk. Said to be a Music Library employee his favorite hobby is harassing circ clerks and staring/hovering with the utmost creepiness. Rumor has it he's no longer allowed to work with girls in the music library due to, well, creepiness. Also we're pretty sure he has a crush on Jeff.

MLM Exec--a newcomer to the eccentrics, this guy reserves the corner room in the LRC every day so that he can lure in unsuspecting victims and try to sell them on a multi-level marketing scheme that will more likely than not lead them to a very unwise investment.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

strangest shift ever

at the beginning of the shift, a bunch of obnoxious freshmen came in and asked us for movie selections. apparently the binder wasn't good enough, so they came back to the desk and demanded recommendations from the vault.

"we want a scary one," said the genderless one in the green shirt.
"no, stephanie doesn't like scary movies," said the girl with black hair. "do you have a funny one?"

i proceeded to walk down the dvd vault row and call off the titles of comedies.

"we have legally blonde... the court jester... the simpsons..."

each suggestion was shot down. the genderless one had an idea.

"let's watch step up 2," it said. "i have it in my dorm."

so while genderless one and a companion made the trek back to heritage, the rest of their posse decided to lie down by the 3-day checkout binder. that's right. on the floor. patrons were literally stepping over them so that they could get to the binder.
30 noisy minutes later, genderless one returned with the cinematographic masterpiece step up 2 and asked me for a room. they also asked me:
  • if we were hiring (i said no)
  • what book i was reading
  • if emily was any good at sudoku
  • why i work in the LRC
  • the purpose of life
after they were safely caged in a room, i let out a sigh of relief and went back to the desk. the peace only lasted for a few short minutes, however.
it was at that moment a socially awkward-looking person crept into the LRC and slipped into room 4821, which apparently had been accidentally left open by the previous patrons. he had a green fleece jacket tied around his waist and i'm sure he wore hiking boots. he then proceeded to stare at emily and i from within the room in the chair closest to the door. he sat there and stared like a rat in a hole. every few minutes he would scamper out of the LRC, but he always snuck back in, sat in the room and stared. eventually i decided to take some action.
i grabbed wanda and held it like a beating stick, walked over to room 4821, and slowly opened the door. he jumped and stared at me with his beady, ratty eyes (i almost expected him to hiss with displeasure when the light reached his pupils).

"um... did you need anything?" i asked him.
"no," he said confidently. "the rest of my party will be here shortly."
"oh. well, you know, these rooms have to be reserved ahead of time. but if you come over to the desk, i can sign you up."
"oh. ok."

i left under the impression he was going to follow me. but when i got back behind the desk, he was gone.
i'm pretty sure his "party" wasn't really coming.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

sometimes i take my ten minute break on the couch in the women's bathroom.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Glory, Glory Hallelujah!

Attention LRC Comrades:

Remember that time last year when Josh said,
"We're merging the LRC and the Circ desk! This will be a great idea!"
And I said,
"Josh, that is the WORST idea anyone has ever had."

Well, it looks like I was totally right. Glory, glory hallelujah: The LRC and the Circ Desk are two again. I firmly believe in segregating books and movies.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


i just remembered a funny incident that happened a couple weeks ago.

phone rings. lanee picks it up.
lanee: "LRC, this is Lanee."
patron speaks.
lanee: "you need to get your van driving license?"
patron speaks.
lanee: "no... you can't get that here. Umm... this is the LRC. In the library."

apparently people call the library with any old question. i myself have helped many a patron over the phone with their bizarre requests:

me: "circulation, how may i help you?"
patron: "yes, i need the number for the better business bureau in wichita, kansas."
me: "umm... one moment. " (enter "better business bureau wichita" into google search) "it's 316-263-3146."

another one:

me: "circulation, how may i help you?"
patron: "what is 70 percent of 200?"
me: "well, let me pull out a calculator and look for you."

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

7-12pm shift

every time i wake up for this shift i say the f word.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

LRC Confessions

Sometimes, when I'm doing an area check, I'm tempted to pull out a chair or two just so I'll have something to do an hour later when I do the next area check.

Summer is so slow.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


maybe i just published a personal blog on the lrc blog on accident... i'm not sure how to take the post off entirely, so i'll just say this: the lrc is the most magical place on earth. the end.

Friday, July 3, 2009


I thought the funeral for MAS yesterday was lovely and fitting. It's hard to describe but the whole time I felt this subtle undercurrent of courage and joy.  It's nice when a funeral is not just mourning a loss but more of a celebration of the future.  Or, in the case of cumbersome computer programs that none of us really liked anyway, a celebration of a loss.

Also, I think it's endlessly hilarious that Won emailed in his regards FROM KOREA.  Won is number one!

And now, for a legitimate LRC observation!  I knew it would only be a matter of time before I had one!  This is one that I like to call the "Headphones Tango."

Let me set up the scenario for you:

You're sitting at the first computer right next to the cash register, probably reading a small novel.  Mr. or Ms. Patron comes up and asks for a pair of headphones.  "Sure thing," you say as you stand up and head for the headphones drawer.  As you make your way over you notice that for some strange reason, PatronPants is following you down the desk like a puppy or a small child or a partner in a cheesy vaudeville act where you're pretending the other person is actually a reflection in the mirror...???  So then you grab the headphones and start back to your computer and, once again, the patron dutifully follows you.

I have to fight the urge to laugh every time, but what can be done?  Any attempt to stop it would just sound demeaning ("Stay!  Stay patron!  BAD patron!") or take too long ("Oh, you don't have to do that!  I'm just a-heading down this way cuz that's where we keep the headphones darlin'! I'll be back over here to swipe your card in a matter of seconds!").

Conclusion: people are silly, especially library patrons.

Monday, June 29, 2009

I Got You Babe

Okay. So the title has nothing to do with the post I'm about to make. I was just sitting here, at my aunt's hardy dial-up equipped computer plunking away (My 'rents got rid of the internet!), trying to come up with an imaginative title, when I noticed that atop her computer desk my aunt has both The Very Best of Cher, and Gloria Estefan: Greatest Hits.

My secondary title choice? Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves. That one was for you Cheryl.

So. On to better things. Last week I had a library dream. And it should be said, I have many library dreams. But this one is the Great Bambino, if you will, of library dreams. It must be shared.

In the dream, it was Pioneer Day, and as luck would have it Cheryl and Alex, who were working Circ, found a hidden closet in the back adjacent to the BP shelves. When Cheryl opened it, she found an entire authentic pioneer wardrobe - with dresses, suspenders, hats and pants and mustaches for everyone! Our Circ supervisors were all so pleased by this vintage addition to the Circulation collection that they encouraged all of the employees of Access Services to don the pioneer wear. So there we were, all of us, dressed as pioneers and working the desk. But what made it even better, you may ask?

"Amber, what made it even better?" you ask.

Sharolynn was cheerily playing a pipe organ that had replaced the computer at the BP desk, and we were required to do-si-do anytime we got up to get Reserve books!

I know right? SO SKILLED!

Oh man... I sure miss the LRC. Hope you guys are all doing well!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Thank you Andrew, Killer of Creativity

"Huzzah," I thought. "Finally, an LRC blog where I can share all those funny everyday LRC observations that I make every time I work there. So many quirks and anecdotes and..."

...Nothin'. As soon as I sit down to write my first post, I can't think of anything. It's all gone.

Wait! Remember...'member how people, like, don't put stuff in the drop box and like, it's all annoying and stuff like, "Don't you know how to read???" What's up with that?


I'm sorry! That's all I got and it has so been done before, but I promise I'll get those creative juices going again. Who knows, something crazy might happen in the next 2 1/2 hours before I get off. You never know what will happen the the magical world of Learning and Resources and the Center in which they are located...

Cool Stuff:

Many of you probably remember "Cool Stuff" from last year's meetings. If you don't remember it, or if you weren't there, well.... That's rough. At any rate, here is my cool stuff.

With the exception of that weird air conditioning incident last semester, the LRC has a tendency to be cold...very, very cold. Naturally, my first reaction was to walk into the break room and put on the token Ugly Sweater. So I did. Whilst wearing said sweater, a patron came up to the desk and gave me not one, but two compliments on how cool my sweater was. For those of you who do not find this weird, I will refresh your memory of this glorious piece of work.

The Secondary Beginning

Andrew told me I had to post something before I left. I'm about to clock off. On Kronos.

Did you know that the Kronos is actually a figure in Greek mythology? His wizardry is essentially related to time. Kronos was Father Time.

Cool huh?


LRC: The Beginning

Yep, I'm starting an LRC blog. It's called LRC: The Blog. I was hesitant to actually create a blog, as Amber our fellow co-worker just informed me that blogs are for females, or males who are either indy, artsy or married. Because I don't really fall into any of those categories, I approached the brink of giving up. Then, I remembered how awesome the LRC is, and decided that it definitely needs a blog. So, here we go. Everyone who works in or is affiliated with the LRC may comment. (Others may comment too, but we probably won't read whatever you post). As we all know, the LRC is the coolest part of the Harold B. Lee Library, so I'm fairly confident that we all have some awesome things to say about it. Feel free to share LRC stories, be they funny or serious (preferably funny). Have fun, and remember Passion rules Reason, and Karaoke rules Passion!